“What if I gave everything?”

” Am I afraid of the cost to follow?

Why am I still standing here?

What if I gave everything to you?

I need to stop holding back!

Are you calling me out to deeper waters?

Why am I still standing here?

What of I gave everything

I am tired of standing here

I want to see some mountains moved.

You have given the faith needed to move mountains and more.

Ready to give everything.

Good-Bye to standing here.”

https://castingcrowns.com/


O my Lord, I am ready to say good-bye. I am ready to move forward, but where do I start. How do I know this is the way; the way to you. As you know there were many paths before that I took. And yes, I knew best only to quickly find out the opposite. Hard to admit, but when you at the end of nowhere, you know are totally lost and don’t know what to do. No idea to how to get back, or do I go forward hoping for that off ramp. How do I find you Lord? I know it is you want. My heart tell me to keep searching; don’t give up, but how do I know that I will not repeat mistakes of the past. I’m tired Lord and do not want to end up nowhere again.

Why did I not see the obvious? How could I be so wrong, when the answer was in front of me all the time. Why did I let myself get in front of myself? Yes, did  I put myself in front of the answer?

It is like looking at a painting of words that is black and white. It appears all jumble up; means nothing. You stare and stare and it always looks the same. And yes, I finally see what it says. And ever time I look again, I can only see it this way now. Never will see it as it was before.

And yes Lord, I abandoned my soul to you through faith and trust. I took myself out of always knowing the way or the best answer. As I walk now on a new path, I know and feel, it is the correct way. The picture is clear. It is the only way I can see it now. With my soul abandoned to you, it is clear Lord.

“All of me, for all You are.

 

Conor

 

 

 

 

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Make Me A River

I will sing praise for all you have done for me.

Fill my heart as I hunger for you-put my mind with your wisdom and truth.

Father, make me a river. Come living water, flow through me. You are, the one I thirst for; Come living water, flow through me!

You are, the one I thirst for; Come living water flow through me!

Guide every step I take

Fill every word I speak

Touch the world with my hands, they are yours.

Let my love show the lost you are the Lord.

Let the River Flow

 

Make me a River!

Let the River Flow

Make me a River!”

Casting Crowns


The thanks we can give back is only pale in what we receive.  The joy and love we experience makes our hearts pound with anxious thoughts of doing. Our heart and mind changes, but that is what drives us to do; drives us into action. Our thoughts and words seem to change. The way we look at things is just different and hard to explain and not noticeable to anyone but you. Our conversations with God changes, frequency changes, length changes and nothingness is important. It is not a thought in the morning, but becomes and goes with you throughout the whole day.

Your change is radical, different and internal. It is being hidden from others for now. It is just for you. And then slowly, the thirst becomes stronger while the thirst is being removed.  All else is behind you, but with you. Yes, it’s you, but the change that started continues to grow more and more every day. The slow growth still has a thirst that is still not quench. In some cases, and for a period of time, it becomes quiet and dry. Seems lost no matter what you say or how hard you pray. But the change continues, and the trust and faith that was nourished, is needed more to go forward. Finally, the thirst fills and the quite dry is no longer. And the love you knew comes back with overwhelming changes; that now is a love and closeness you have never experienced! A presence around you.

So, what does one do? Yes, continue and let your soul be abandoned to our Lord. Renew that commitment every day. Continue to ask the Lord to “Melt and Mold you”. But also, the simple words need to be said. And repeated as we go forward. The words of “Jesus I love, Jesus I thank you and Jesus I trust in you.”

Time to start a walk with Our Lord. Flow through me.

Conor

Keep Smiling!